Guess where I went today?

I’ll give you a clue: It’s not Joey or PF Chang’s or Brent’s Deli or Rosti or any of the other 40 restaurants I’ve eaten at almost every day for the last 42 days since the fire.   I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and dragged my f-t ass—tail between my legs—to a Weight Watchers meeting. And you know what? It wasn’t SO bad. (Remember, it can always be worse!) I spent way too much of my life hiding and feeling ashamed and sad. And I’m not going to do that to myself again. Ever.   Ironically, this week I was approached by a company interested in casting me as one of the “real” people who have successfully lost weight on the Weight Watchers “Beyond the Scale” program. Problem is that I got to my goal weight a long time ago (well, problem for them, not problem for me!) and not on this specific program. (BTW – My WW goal weight is higher than my own personal goal weight anyway so that I don’t have to stress out if I gain a few pounds and worry about paying $15 because I’m 2 pounds over my goal weight! You have to check in once a month and be within 2 pounds of your goal weight to stay a free Lifetime member)   But anyway… as I was filling out the questionnaire and listing how Weight Watchers has completely changed my life and how I now don’t measure my self worth by my weight and I’m not so hard on myself, I thought, “uh oh, but isn’t that exactly what I’ve been doing to myself in these last few weeks since the fire?”   I have to say I felt like a bit of a fraud.   So here I am coming out to you all. And I am promising you and myself that I will set a good example by being extra kind to myself and not beating myself up for what has happened.   Let’s see: Eating out almost every day for 42 days vs eating out once a week zero walking vs walking the dog/running with kid from car to school 5 days a week (everything counts peeps!) no weekly training session (miss you Kellie Fit!) pilates 0 – 1 times a week (thank G-d for Hardcore Pilates!!) vs pilates 2 times a week   How could any “body” stay the same?   When you eat out every day (way more calories/sodium/fat) and you get out of your regular physical exercise routine, how could your body stay in the same place? And more importantly, I NEED the physical...

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Keep It Poppin’ (My Kettle Corn Obsession)
Aug18

Keep It Poppin’ (My Kettle Corn Obsession)

I used to drive all the way to the Main Street Farmer’s Market in Santa Monica.  Park my car.  Go for a 30 minute run. Pick up my bag (or 2, or 3) of kettle corn.  Then drive home. Do you remember the little white bags they’d fill up with fresh kettle corn, and then stick it in a plastic bag and tie it up with a wire tie?  If I convinced myself to only buy one or two that week, chances are I’d find myself at the Westwood Farmer’s Market on Wednesday buying another bag. When I say I was obsessive, I’m not kidding! Then I joined Weight Watchers and discovered that my little white bag—overflowing into the clear plastic bag, neatly tied with a wire tie—was FIFTEEN POINTS.  Not worthy! Eventually, after LOTS of sugar snap peas (zero points) and carrots (zero points) during the day to make up for my kettle corn habit at night, I decided to try Orville Redenbacher’s 94% fat free kettle corn instead.  Not quite the same experience, but at 3 points a bag (on the old points system), it was a much better value than the regular kettle corn. And then began the new habit of an entire bag of “diet” kettle corn… every single night. If I was out for dinner or at a family gathering, everything was compared to my 3-point kettle corn at night, and nothing measured up to my alone-time with my kettle corn.  I know, seems pretty sad.  For me, that huge bag of popcorn every night was filling an emotional void; it was pretty much my boyfriend!  Only when I found the love of my life did I manage to completely kick the habit. Then one day, Sam’s mother sends him home with a large sample of Angie’s Kettle Corn from Costco.  (Does this woman have it in for me or what?)  He didn’t quite get it when I told him that I have a thing for kettle corn!! Back to Basics Now when I need to get back on track, the first thing I change is to go back to my 94% fat free Kettle Corn as a nighttime snack. It’s on my Top 10 Weight Watchers Power Foods list. There’s nothing quite like it when you’re craving a sweet-and-salty fix! The difference is that now I really only need a 100 calorie bag. Before, the huge bag was just feeding myself emotionally and was a habit that I wasn’t willing to break. I find that the danger with the big bag varieties is that once you’ve had one cup, it’s far too easy...

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Chopsticks and Change
Sep07

Chopsticks and Change

I had an epiphany on Erev Rosh Hashanah (the eve of the Jewish New Year), as I ate a bowl of vegetables at 11pm—something the old me would never have done! It’s interesting how religious holidays bring up such strong, varied emotions in us—some joyous and some painful. I learned from my wise, dear friend Judy—when I trekked around Los Angeles as her Weight Watchers receptionist and young leader in training—that while things change from holiday to holiday, the one thing that stays the same is the food. As people age and relationships change, our favorite childhood dishes bring familiar comfort of simpler times. That’s one of the reasons why traditional foods evoke such powerful emotional associations, and can trigger and spin us out of control. I, on the other hand, used to have extreme anxiety before the Jewish holidays, because the celebrations invariably meant breaking whatever diet I was on, and having to start all over again. After guiltily eating whatever I could legally ingest in public, I would secretly stuff myself as much as possible, swearing never to eat a grain of sugar or fat again after resuming my diet on Monday. This was followed by the usual onslaught of self-hatred and regret. Now that I know so much more about the negative effects of dieting and deprivation—and how willpower can only go so far—I’m not surprised that I gave in to the tempting treats surrounding me. Wednesday was a strange eating day With one batch of Apricot Squares in the freezer, I had  two more to bake. Norene Gilletz’s Cinnamon Nut Rogelach (divine!), and Brown Sugar Cookies—the ultimate chewy, sugar cookie with a rich, toffee flavor (recipe coming soon) My first time making both, so I had to QC them! (Quality Control) That was lunch. Two turkey meatballs at 4pm, so as not to arrive at dinner famished. Of course, when I’m in a brand new outfit and feel “all that,” no one takes notice, but when I’ve been baking (and sampling) bulkas, challah, and cookies, and haven’t worked out in 10 days, and find the darkest, stretchiest thing in my closet (booty camouflage), everyone says how great I look. Gotta love Spanx! I enjoyed a taste of each wonderful dish in the lavish spread at Uncle Norm and Auntie Carol’s house, resisting seconds of June’s Noodle Kugel! I did, of course, have to partake in above-mentioned cookies for dessert. (Definitely worthy!) Feeling slightly stuffed, the old me would’ve felt guilty and out of control, and would then have proceeded to eat whatever pastries and chocolate I could find at home. But after taking off my heels and putting my little...

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